I have had this WordPress blog open for about 2 years, and in those 2 years I have had a struggle finding my own tone, my own voice. I tried writing from a preacher/minister tone, student of the bible tone, and personal reflection type tone. But I felt like it wasn’t me, and it wasn’t how I wanted to convey the message of God to the world. So yes, I struggled to write, and I struggled to be consistent more than anything. I also found I wasn’t being true to myself, honest to God, and open to my readers.
I was caught up in the numbers and getting my article exposed to the world, that even though I wanted to help others find peace through God, I also wanted to make sure that what I wrote was Google friendly, SEO, keywords and longtail keywords, and all those key things that make an article be searchable and found by a reader. I got caught up in the semantics of it all that it wasn’t my true authentic self. I’ll admit I am not savvy at social media nor am I good with posts, reels, and hashtags. I just got Facebook a year ago so I can help promote articles that I have written, and the book I wrote. So, call me old fashion but I just want to write from my heart, from my thoughts, and what God wants me to say.
I would use AI to help create posts, to help create reels, as I discovered social media is a job in and of itself. The reality is I work two jobs, and finding that time to create content through social media was a scarcity of mine. Typically, a Saturday morning with my thoughts and Canva at hand to come up with content for the following week, and scheduling them out in the many platforms I was using. It felt rushed and it felt like something that must be done in order to promote my blog, and my message. It did not feel like something I was good with, nor the message I wanted to send to others. So yes it was terrible, it didn’t come from a peaceful and Christian place in my spirit and heart.
So I took these lengthy breaks, tried to try again and find my voice, same result each time. I must have tried to find my voice a few times over the last couple of years but wasn’t really happy with it. What got me is when I would see others and their reels and make that typical comparison that I wasn’t good enough or just thought they were better than me. I just didn’t feel like my message was adequate enough.
I don’t have memorizing bible verses and scripture down very well. So even though I have read the bible through, from start to finish and read the New Testament a few times over, memorizing scripture just wasn’t something I was good at. Even though I knew a verse or story or character in the bible, I would have to do a Google search or ask AI to help find the verse, story, book, or chapter I was thinking of in my head. Part of me felt that I was not capable of being like other online presences who did this very well. And yes, comparing was my mistake, it was my ego denying what God has asked me to do.
I spent the last couple of weeks, reflecting, praying, and asking God how He wanted me to do this. I do not consider myself a minister or preacher at all, but I consider myself a witness to the Glory of God. That through the darkness of 18 years, Jesus Christ Himself restored me, and my faith. Since then I have these amazing experiences being a witness to the Lord through prayer, gifts, and sustainability through my faith in God.
God opened my eyes to truth, to the world – through the Holy Spirit. He brought me peace and rest through trials and hardships of my life. He showed me love, kindness, mercy, and joy all at once. That through the lows is where the strength of the Lord is, and in the highs that the Glory of God exist.
This is what I want to share with the world – my experience with Jesus Christ. For I believe in Him, and I know Him to be true. I know Him to be here, existing now, to be faithful and kind. I have a strong conviction of faith and love for the Lord. I truly believe the power of prayer, and obedience to God.
For this is the voice I want to share, I don’t want these articles to be perfect, I don’t believe I am perfect, nor polished at all. My goal is to help someone, anyone have a change of heart, to help someone seeking help, seeking the Lord, seeking peace, trapped in darkness to help find Jesus Christ. I’d rather chase a heart lost, and then a like and validation of this world.
When I lost my dad at my very own hands, I was in an inescapable trap of darkness, where ego, lies, and perversions ruled my pain, these were the darkest most painful years of my life, so I understand what it means to be in darkness, what it means to be lost spiritually. It’s not easy to navigate through, it’s not easy to want to find Jesus Christ to be rescued from it. So I know and understand what guilt, shame, blame, and sadness feels like, and yet I stand before you as witness of the power of Jesus Christ through forgiveness and restoration.
This is the message of the Lord that he wants me to share through my writings with whoever wants to take the time to read my story, my witness to it all. Even through the hatred of God in my years of darkness, that the light pierced through when I sought forgiveness from Jesus Christ. I am a witness to the light, a witness to Jesus Christ, and witness of God’s love and forgiveness.
My voice is of inspiration, of hope, and of peace. My voice is an experience of God in my life today. I am not perfect, nor claim to know all the scripture and the word of the Lord, but I am at peace, the same peace Jesus left us, and I just want to help you find Jesus in your own life, so that you can experience that same peace, and find salvation and joy in your own life, and in your own faith.
If this article finds you and you want prayer, encouragement, or how Jesus can help you right now, please leave a comment or send me message.
Thank you
Brian
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