My Life in Darkness

I lived in a turmoil I called “Darkness” for most of my adult life. I was angry all the time. Pride ruled me. My ego controlled me. I exploded at any situation. These were not the best times in my life — but this is how I chose to live.

I didn’t care who I hurt. I didn’t care who I sinned against. I didn’t care how God looked upon me.

This is how I carried the blame of my dad’s loss. This is how I carried the burdens from the car accident. The more I became darkness, the more I pushed away those who loved me.

I shifted all blame to God and removed myself from faith.

The Moment I Chose to Seek Peace

Then came the day when I was tired of it all — tired of the burdens, tired of the anger, tired of the grief.

I made the choice to seek peace. I made the choice to return to God.

I had no roadmap. What was rooted inside me was pure anger and hatred. But I knew the only way through wasn’t found in this world — it was found in the Lord.

I needed help. I needed God.

Seeking Forgiveness From Those I Hurt

One of the first actions I took was seeking forgiveness from those I hurt:

• my brothers
• my mom
• my wife
• my kids

I apologized for who I was, what I became, and the moments where my sins overflowed. I opened my heart to them, asking for their love and forgiveness.

What I didn’t know at the time is that I was living out Matthew 5:23–24:

“If you are offering your gift at the altar and remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift… First be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift.”

Unbeknownst to me, I was preparing my spirit, heart, mind, body, and soul for the Lord.

I am the gift at the altar.

To be ready for the Lord, I needed forgiveness from others first.

Only then could the Lord forgive me for the sins I committed against Him.

Reconciliation Before Coming to God

Before I could go before God, I had to seek those whom I had wronged — to offer peace to those I offended.

If you find yourself seeking the Lord to atone for your sins, the first proper step is this:

Seek those whom you sinned against and offer forgiveness.

How Forgiveness Opened My Heart to God

What I didn’t understand at the time was that seeking forgiveness from others opened my heart to receive God’s forgiveness more fully.

They don’t have to forgive you — but what you demonstrate to the Lord is:

• humility
• obedience
• love

These are key traits required in heaven.

Humility, Obedience, and Love: The Heart of Forgiveness

Humility: Letting Go of Ego and Pride

Humility meant stripping away the ego and pride I had used as a grieving mechanism. I said “no more me,” and let go of myself through forgiveness.

Through their forgiveness, I discovered that love truly conquers all.

It was the step needed to remove myself from what I was — and become the person God wanted me to be.

Obedience: Aligning My Life With Christ

I didn’t fully understand obedience until after I was restored.

By seeking forgiveness, I was aligning myself with the teachings of Jesus Christ. I was spiritually calling for restoration and redemption.

From that moment on, I became more aware of the truth of the Lord and began living according to His Word.

Obedience was the start of my faith.

Love: The Heartbeat of Forgiveness

When I sought forgiveness, I learned that love triumphs over harm, sin, and hurt.

God’s unwavering arm of hope and love is revealed through forgiveness.

No matter what I did, to be forgiven is the ultimate sign of God’s love shown through others.

Love is the heartbeat of forgiveness.

Walking the Long Road Toward Peace

A Daily Journey of Seeking God

My journey to peace through forgiveness was a day‑by‑day process.

I sought the Lord. I sought forgiveness. I spent days alone with God.

Each day I spoke to God humbler than the last, more forgiving than the last, more open to love.

Little by little, I was becoming more obedient to the Lord.

The Day God Restored My Heart

When the Lord laid His hands upon my heart and restored me whole, my faith was renewed and my spirit reborn.

Forgiveness reached into me. His love completed me. His faith cleansed me. Peace came upon me.

Why I Minister Today

Peace Is Possible for You Too

I minister because I became a witness to this.

If peace is possible for me — through my circumstances — then it is possible for you.

No matter where you are, when you start with forgiveness and move toward God, peace is yours.

Forgiveness is not only a key to the Kingdom of Heaven — it is a key to unlocking the peace Jesus Christ offers.

Living Out Peace Through Humility, Obedience, and Love

Once you learn to be humble, obey God’s will, and love more, you can sustain peace throughout your days on earth.

My road involved losing my dad. My journey started in grief and anger. Through it all, the Lord never left me — even after I left Him.

Be faithful in all you do. Seek forgiveness wholeheartedly. Always forgive those who seek it from you. Never hold judgment — always lead with mercy.

These are the keys to peace. The way to Jesus. The truth. The light.

A Final Word of Peace

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

Reflection: Who do you need to forgive — or ask forgiveness from — to open your heart to God’s peace?

Prayer: “Lord Jesus, teach me humility, obedience, and love. Help me seek forgiveness and offer forgiveness, so Your peace may fill my heart. Amen.”